http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOrCt2KVn1I&fmt=18Spongebob

I have no idea why Leta has always loved Spongebob.  But she does and one of her earliest words was asking to watch her show, “Ba-Ba.”   And because Leta only has a verbal vocabulary of  about 50 words,  I have tried to pay close attention to the words that she does care about.  Leta can say “more”, “help”, “done” and “home” for example,  but she can only verbalize four words that represent activities that she likes.  And these are “ball”, (she loves to go with her dad to coach her sister’s soccer games),  “eat”…( leta’s all time favorite pastime 24 hours a day), and “Ba-Ba.”   Every weekend that she is home from school, she asks to do all three.  We obviously do not deprive her of  eating, soccer is a constant in our lives too , and then there is  “Ba-Ba.”   She knows how to turn on the TV and press channel 33, and like magic, she finds Spongebob on Nickolodeon.  So I had to ask myself, what is it about “Ba-Ba’ that captures the attention of my special needs child?  Leta has extreme ADHD.  Her attention span is 5 seconds long for almost all activities; art, computers, music, books.  She flits from one thing to the next and is in constant search of new stimuli.  Some days keeping up with Leta is the equivalent of running a marathon.   And last weekend was no different.  If she wasn’t opening the fridge for the 20th time, grabbing handfuls of last night’s spaghetti and meatball dinner, she was dumping 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle pieces on the floor then moving on to re-program my computer or paint the dog with a pink Sharpie marker.   Freud would say that Leta is all “ID:,  She has no impulse control.   But Spongebob captures and holds her attention, sometimes for 30 minutes straight.  This is sometimes the only opportunity I have for deep REM sleep , a shower, or a quick moment to fold laundry.  Most parents remember these days  from when their kids were toddlers, but Leta, 16 years old, is still in constant motion.    So Spongebob has been my savior.  Some days I send prayers of thanks to Stephen Hillenburg, the creator.   But he should also be thanking me, because we have spent the last 16 years of Leta’s life buying endless Spongebob merchandise.   We have been throwing Leta a Spongebob birthday party since she was 6 years old.   We buy party hats, plates, cups, party favors, noise makers and the all important Spongebob Pinata.  None of my other kids like to admit that this is their favorite , most rocking birthday party of the year.    The rest of the year, we are helping Hillenburg pay for his retirement home with purchases of  Spongebob pillows, cameras, laptops, bed sheets and musical instruments.

But back to my original query.  Why is Leta so fascinated with SB?

I decided to gather a focus group to find answers.  Actually, I just randomly asked my kids and a few close friends for their thoughts.   But their responses were deep and insightful.  Leta likes him because……..

Spongebob is kind

Spongebob gets into everything

Spongebob is crazy and loud

Spongebob is an eternal child

Spongebob sees only the good in people

Spongebob doesn’t have to be cool

Spongebob loves everyone around him.

Spongebob has no boundaries

And  then I realized……… That’s it!   Leta sees herself in Spongebob.  Leta is all those things, except the annoying voice.   Leta is an eternal child and has a heart of gold, just like her friend under the sea.  And to add my own deep interpretation.  Spongebob and Leta both live  in the moment.

As Spongebob likes to sing, “Everyday is the best day ever…”   Leta doesn’t think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow.  She always just enjoys today.

Maybe we should all be watching more “Spongebob Squarepants”.

Leta’s annual IEP is coming up next month.  And as I do every year, I quickly review the listed goals and objectives.  Honestly, they haven’t changed much since she was in Kindergarten.  Leta is still working on identifying the days of the week, counting pennies up to 5, staying on task at a puzzle for up to 5 minutes, and responding in two word utterances to a picture.  And each year the teachers comment  that Leta has made “very limited progress achieving these goals.”   These IEP’s used to upset me as they are the only measurable way we have to record her progress, and Leta has made few gains in 8 years. But it is no fault of the school.  Leta has mental retardation and may never have success.   But Leta is achieving far greater goals that can’t be measured on an IEP.

We live in such a data driven world, where all kids are scored:  PSAT’s. SAT’s, ACT etc…..  But what we have forgotten to track in the world of testing is a child’s emotional growth.  Leta may never hit the ball out of the park counting to 10, but she continues to hit a home run in a different sort of way.

Emotionally, Leta has grown tremendously since she started at Camphill.  Because at Camphill they do more than work on IEP goals.  They educate Leta by nourishing her soul.  Any given day that you walk into a classroom, you will find kids painting, dancing, playing the flute and lyres, acting in plays, studying art history, or going out for long walks in the woods.  Camphill’s Waldorf based education seems to awaken the spirit in each of the special kids that go to school there.  No IEP will ever be able to measure the data on this objective.

When Leta was 7 years old, she had to do a standardized test in order for her to be placed in a special needs kindergarten in the Philadelphia public school system.  The test was designed for non-verbal kids.  The answers were drawings that required no reading.  All Leta had to do was point to a drawing  that best matched the answer to a verbal question.  One question went like this:

“ Leta point to the wet dog”  and the answers were:

1. a dog in a dog house
2. a dog eating food
3. a dog in a rainstorm
4. a dog going for a walk

Obviously, the correct answer was 3) a dog in a rainstorm.

Leta looked at all 4 answers and did not respond, so the tester asked the question again.  This time Leta pointed to her mouth indicating that she was thirsty.  The tester asked Leta if she would like a glass of water and Leta said, “Yahhhhh”.  We got her the dixie cup and the very serious early intervention tester asked the question to Leta for a third time.  “Leta, point to the dog that is wet.”

Leta paused, drank from her cup of water, and instead of swallowing, she spit on the page and pointed to the dog eating food . (2 )was her answer.

This dog was now indeed very wet.  And to make matters worse leta began laughing hysterically.  And so did I.

I asked with a smirk, “Does that count as correct?” I was such a proud parent .  But the tester replied ,”NO!”  Leta and I gave each other a high-five anyway.  In my opinion she aced it.

Two weeks later, according to a City of Philadelphia letter, Leta had flunked the test and was given the official label of Mental Retardation.  She got  no credit for creativity or sense of humor.

But luckily for Leta, Camphill appreciates her kind of smarts and they get her kooky sense of humor. And each day they continue to nourish her soul.   It is just too bad that it will never be reflected on her annual IEP.