Leta has a sixth sense for finding people in the world that have a greater degree of empathy, compassion and emotional complexity than the rest of us.  These people are givers, caretakers, healers and they are drawn to professions like teaching, medicine and childcare.  So what I have found by having Leta in my life, is that instead of thinking that she is my conduit to the ephemeral angel world, the angels are all around me.

One day, like many, I took Leta to the local grocery store  to go food shopping.  This was and continues to be one of Leta’s great joys in life.  She is empowered behind the controls of a shopping cart and the girl loves to shop.  So we push the cart down every aisle when we go and I usually let Leta grab whatever she wants.  Most of it gets put back secretly by me, or we just sort it out at check-out.  And this particular day was no different, except that at check out Leta decided she really wanted to work the counter and scan the items herself.  Behind the counter that day was a twenty- something guy with bright green hair, multiple tattoos on both arms and most disturbing was his multiple piercings all over his face.  The nose ring…ouch, the eyebrow piercing, eek…the tongue stud…..hmmmm, the large Masai mara ear extensions….tribal!  yowzii….and as I painfully looked at this young man…so did Leta, and she was enchanted.  She was fascinated by his differences, while I was just disturbed by them and making snap judgments about him as a person.  And then Leta did what she does best.  She broke down the natural barriers of civilization and rushed behind the counter to be closer to him and help.  That meant that I needed to talk to him, apologize to him and get her out from under his feet so he could do his job and we could get the hell out of the store.  But in Leta world, my agenda never takes precedence.  Leta did not care about how long it took to scan the items, she just knew she wanted to help.  And this odd man-boy looked at her with an amused smile, and said to me, “let her be, she is fine helping” and with a smile on his face, he let Leta help.  And then I saw Leta give me her big-grin of a smile that she knew she had gotten her way and so at that moment she put her free hand in his and I watched a beautiful friendship unfold in front of my eyes.  This funny rag tag team of piercings and special needs was scanning my groceries and holding hands as they did so.  It was a human moment , a beguiling moment, almost an enchanted moment of perfection.  And best of all, Leta was so happy.

I  learned a lesson that day.  I wanted the world to accept my Leta but I had so many prejudices of my own to work through.  I had all these preconceived judgements about this boy and  I was wrong about every one of them.  Here was a boy that was seemingly different on the outside but on the inside he had a heart of gold, more patience than most, and most importantly for me, he showed an appreciation for my little Leta in a moment that others would have been annoyed.

I call experiences like this my “Leta Meter”  There are those who “get” Leta and those who don’t “get” Leta.  I no longer have time or can be bothered by the first group of people.  I gravitate to the those that get her, and in so doing, the people I choose to be friends with are different now.  Shallow and selfish people are not let in to the Leta world or my family.  If you don’t get Leta, you are not welcome.  It may seem harsh and have it’s own prejudices.  But I don’t have the mental bandwidth for people that don’t inherently love my little girl or worse, prefer to judge her and my chaotic world.

I know the looks.  The worst are when adults think I am a bad parent for not being able to “handle my kids tantrum.”  , Leta has amazing public tantrums, quite often.  When she doesn’t get what she wants, her body drops to the floor, she becomes heavy as a boulder and she refuses to move….her own sort of public sit in /protest forms, shoes get kicked off,actually go flying in multiple directions, and she will start to rip off all her clothes down to her diaper, pull-up, maybe sometimes this will come off too…..and there sits my naked child.  THere is not much I can do to hide at this point, mostly people just stare wide eyed….the extraordinary person is the one who comes over and asks if they can help. of course, But this doesn’t happen very often.  People like to stare, judge and walk away.  The ones that do offer a hand?  I know they are special people.  With no prejudice, they come with open arms and wide smiles, and i know that they “get” Leta.  They are my friends, they are in my club.  And I often never see them again.  But in that moment they have given me more help than most of my blood relatives have in Leta’s entire life. The “Leta Meter”  defines my life by helping me navigate the people I choose to spend time with.