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Talking about being Non-Verbal

I was driving Ava to school this morning and the topic of Leta came up, as she often does, in our morning coversation.  Leta  just spent another week at CHOP.  This time for acute kidney failure.  Her creatine levels were so low that her kidneys stopped functioning at full capacity.  For Leta, who is prone to fluid build up in her lungs, any retention of extra fluid can be dangerous to her entire system.  And I had to rush her down to CHOP in the middle of the night.  Again.   I was trying to explain the medical stuff to Ava and why I was so tired this morning, but I found myself getting sidetracked by how cute Leta had been with all the doctors and nurses in the hospital.  Leta wasn’t in any pulmonary distress, like she often is, so she was happy and mellow.  And everyone that entered leta’s room was greeted with a twinkly smile and her signature hand kiss.  Leta takes her small hand to her lips and blows a kiss with a smack.  It is quite adorable.

Ava , listening to my story, matter of factly responded , “ Of course she did mom. Don’t you know that Leta talks with her kisses.”    I asked what she meant.  And Ava continued:

“ How else is Leta supposed to talk to people, if she’s non-verbal?”

I had never thought of it that way, but I had to agree.   Indeed, Leta does talk with her kisses. it is one of her beguiling ways of connecting with complete strangers.  She manages to catch random people’s eyes and then throw them one of her kisses all the time. And often that person will come up to her to say hello, and more often become her friend.   I had never thought of this sweet gesture as communication,  but Ava was right.  And It made me realize how truly clever Leta is.  She is smart enough to understand that despite her verbal limitations, she can communicate with people the next best way.

And Ava added, “ Mom, dont you know by now that Leta is brillilant!”

I loved hearing Ava speak these words  with conviction because it told me that she doesn’t pity her sister in any way.  Just the opposite.  She is proud and absolutely certain of Leta’s intelligence.

But so am I.  Rationally, I know that Leta is cognitively impaired.  The tests claim she has mental retardation.  But please.    How clever is my little girl that she can be remembered by so many, just by her gesture of kisses.  Leta speaks the language of love.  No words are required.